Things I wish I had the Balls to do in Ghana

Here in Ghana, I get a lot of stares because I am white. I also get a lot of stares because I do things that most Ghanaians do not. Because people often stare at me, sometimes it is difficult to do things out in public that might not be deemed as “normal”. Here’s a list of things I wish I had the courage/confidence to do here. (Some of them I have done…try to guess!)
  • Tie a baby to my back and walk around the market
  • convince my roommate I’m “a gay”
  • buy food and then invite the people in line behind me to my meal
  • stand up and start azontoing in the middle of my final exam
  • pay a taxi driver to let me drive….and then crash on purpose
  • pay someone at the market to carry my groceries and things on her head in a basket and then pretend that she is chasing after me and try to run away
  • sit down on the ground in the middle of a crowded area and eat a meal
  • invite people to my nearly finished sachet water
  • agree to marry someone and actually follow through with it
  • skip down the street while singing out loud “OBRUNI OBRUNI OBRUNI OBRUNI OBRUNI ORBUNI!”
  • chase after stray chickens, dogs, and goats with a machete
  • talk with a lisp and pretend to be a gay O”bruno”bruni
  • approach a random Ghanaian and pretend like he is a long lost friend that I haven’t seen in a long time and when he extends his hand for a handshake start azontoing
  • invite my taxi driver or trotro mate to my beer
  • smear chocolate on my hands and then run down the street trying to high five everyone with my left hand
  • wear two different shoes out and and about and try to convince people who tell me otherwise that they match
  • take a poop in public
  • go to a chop bar restaurant with out a shirt on
  • attempt to carry a bible on my head
  • wave down taxis just so they stop and then cross the street
  • buy sugar cane sticks and then fight in public and pretend they are light-sabers
  • pay a hawker to let me hawk her items for the day
  • buy 24 bags of plantain chips from a window in a trotro and then try to sell them to the other passengers inside
  • pretend to be blind and then start azontoing with my cane
  • blog about inappropriate topics knowing even my Grandma will read it

Love,

Jeremy “The One Who Goes To Africa” Kwabena Ginsburg