1) You are referred to (often) as “Obama’s people”
2) a female gets picked up by a taxi driver who immediately calls her his wife, teaches her how to say I love you in Twi, and proceeds to play romantic slow jams all the way to campus
3) you find a physics major who believes in witchcraft
4) a devout Muslim, praying 5 times a day, describe his (apparently many) sexual escapades as a “smash and dash”
5) hissing at someone an appropriate way to get their attention to: hail a taxi, buy food, tell someone they dropped something, or try to get you to shop at their store
6) you can be asked, “So, how is Obama doing?” and be expected to give a honest response of his current welfare
7) an Asian-American is considered “white”
8) a completely untrained volunteer watch 15 eye surgeries take place on his first day at work
9) You can urinate in public and no one will even notice
10) There’s more dust in your dorm room than oxygen
11) homosexuality is widely considered a sin while men walk around holding hands freely and joyfully
12) you have to worry about your pet cat being hunted down with a slingshot and roasted for dinner
13) you see people wearing American T-shirts from your home town, only to realize when you ask them about it they have no idea what the words on their clothes mean
14) you show up 15 minute late to a lecture and still get there before the professor
15) you find a Jewish community of Ghanaians named “Shalom Shalom”
16) you watch an 8 year old boy climb a 40 foot coconut tree to smack down some coconuts as snacks for arriving guests
17) you be asked by complete strangers sitting near you if they are invited to eat your food with you
18) complete strangers invite you to eat their food with them, sometimes using your hands and eating out of the same bowl
19) females gladly accept dates with other guys even though they have a serious boyfriend
20) having a boyfriend back in the states meaningless to guys that seem interested
21) a taxi driver accept a half eaten piece of yam that you offer him, and then say in Twi, “God Bless You!”
22) a friend who can hardly afford to pay his own school fees refuse to allow you to spend a cent on anything while you visit him
23)You see a middle-aged man dodging traffic while crossing a motor-way divider with a full-sized refrigerator balanced on his head
24) An event starts at 6, but you know it’s 100% acceptable to show up at 10….and you may still be early.
25) You call any of your elders “Auntie” or “Uncle”
26) Ah! Oh! Chale! Daabi! Become necessary components of every sentence.
27) 9am is an appropriate time to eat anything.
28) You have to watch where you walk in order to avoid “obruni traps”, which are open gutters
29) your car door in the taxi can only be opened from the outside. Not because it’s on child lock, but because that’s just how it is.
30) Flashing a friend has no sexual connotation to it at all.
31) You’re better off taking a tro-tro to the hospital than waiting for an ambulance.
32) Not remembering someone’s name and calling them either Nana, Efya, Kwesi, Kwame, Kofi, Ama, Adwoa will elicit a response 92.67% of the time.
33) You Azonto to any song, any if people see an obruni dancing Azonto (or trying to) they get extremely excited
34) You have an anxiety attack when you realize you left your toilet tissue in your hostel.
35) You know the hand signals for tro-tros.
36) You can buy water, a table, plantain chips, airtime, grapes, fabric, and more out of your car window at one traffic light.
37) Sleeping at your workplace is expected, and sometimes in the contract.
38) Not having a substantial amount of pesewas (cents) ruins your day because exact change is almost always necessary.
39) A meal that costs more than 5GHc ($3 US )is entirely too much money.
40) It’s perfectly normal to answer your cell phone during class/church/meetings.
41) Hearing women yelling “Ice pure wata” during high heat is like the second coming of Christ.
42) You drop everything you’re doing to take advantage of a shower while the water is running.
43) You’ve given up on having clean, dirt-free feet.
44) you sweat more in your sleep than when you exercise
45) You stop exercising because washing your clothes by hand is enough of a workout, and, if you worked out, you would just have more dirty clothes to hand wash yourself. Plus, it’s simply way too hot to exercise.
46) You can’t shower every time you feel dirty because you’d never end up making it out
47) You realize right before you are about to get dressed that your clothes aren’t completely clean and it’s 100% your fault because you washed them
48) you put the the clothes on anyways because within 30 minutes you’ll be dirty and sweaty
49) “I’m coming” means: Hold on, one second, give me a minute, wait for me, be right back, be patient, and, of course, I’m coming
50) a store is out of an item that you ask for they will tell you it is finished
51) You can say absolutely nothing, but get too much attention because you’re “Obruni”
52) Describing your issues with bubble guts is normal.
53) Gypsy begging children are the only thing keeping you from shopping at Accra Mall.
54) Watching Chinese and Ghanaian students interact is the highlight of your day
55) A brigade of cars mean there’s a party going on tonight.
56) You can hear the songs Kolom, Agyeei, Over Again, Lapaz Toyota, Sweetio, Sorkode, and Oliver Twist multiple times in one night at the same club/bar, and do the same azonto dance to all of them
57) You’ve rescued a friend from being married on multiple occasions.
58) You order plain rice and stew and are brought jollof rice, shito, indomine, and coleslaw, and you can’t do anything about it
59) Internet peaks at 100 kilobytes per second.
60) you get laughed at when asked to speak in class because Ghanaians don’t understand a word you’re saying when you speak fast
61)Your professor threatens to “kill the student”, or “fire the class”
62) Your taxi driver gets out of the car to ask for directions ten minutes after telling you he knows where you are going and you agree on a price
63) Pidgin is a spoken language of broken English and not a bird
64) You know what day of the week people were born on by their name
65) You let someone know they look nice by saying “you are looking so sweet.” Male or female.
66) You don’t notice the “oh” at the end of most sentences.
67) You can open sachet water with your teeth without spilling a drop
68) Pineapples are white, oranges are green, still they’re the best tasting fruit you’ve ever had.
69) if find toilet paper in the bathrooms, you assume that someone left it there
70) you have to wash your bar of soap by itself because it gets so dirty
71) you take taxis not because you are lazy or to save time, but simply because you don’t want to sweat through all of your clothing
72) your ice cold beverage that you bought is lukewarm after your first two sips
73) your blog posts be delayed sometimes for days not just because the internet is down, but because the electricity is out on the entire campus
74) you cross the street, you have to look both ways, behind you, and the both ways again.
75) You complain about the small things, but genuinely love GHANA!